Anxiety the new normal and decluttering as I lose weight

This dress is size 10 and I love it. I bought in in the summer sale in 2019 and thought that I would get a lot of wear out of it.

The yellow dress I am wearing above is UK size 10.  I bought it in the summer sale in 2019 from UK High Street retailer, Warehouse.  I had planned to buy UK size 12 but to my surprise, it was too big so I went a size down thinking that I would have lots of time to enjoy it on my weight loss journey.  How it looks like my final dress size might size 8 or lower.

 

I took this photograph on 28 December 2019.

I took this photograph on 28 December 2019.  I had made an effort with my makeup using the Fumi x Juvia’s Place palette collaboration. https://www.juviasplace.com/products/the-queen-palette-fumi-x-juvias

Anxiety, BLM marches, racism & thoughts of Stephen Lawrence

I am not as consistent with my blog as I would like to be but I love writing it.  It is an outlet that has helped me cope during some really turbulent years in my life.  It helped a lot at the start of the lockdown but in the end, the sense of overwhelming anxiety overcame me.  I have been sad about the pandemic and the lives lost.  I am anxious about the future in all sorts of ways.  I have been so sad about the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd.  The marches across the world following the killing of George Floyd has raised awareness of racism and I hope that the world ultimately becomes a better place.  However some of the comments from Trump and the UK PM, Johnson have not filled me with confidence.  I moved to Thamesmead in South East London to share a home with one of my sisters so she could live close to the University she was attending at the time.  We moved in the same month that Stephen Lawrence, a black teenager was murdered.  It was a very frightening time and the wheels of justice took time.  As we all know, justice delayed is justice denied.  I think that going forward it is incumbent on all of us to speak up against the insidious effects of institutional racism.

Above is a photograph of Stephen Lawrence who was stabbed to death in an unprovoked racist attack in Eltham, South-East London on April 22, 1993.  Please click on the link to read more about this \https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8531929/Brother-murdered-Stephen-Lawrence-slams-Boris-Johnson-having-extreme-views.html

This is me getting ready for one of my Zoom workouts. Wearing this top was a wake up call for me as it fitted so snuggly compared to how it fitted in January 2020

This is me getting ready for one of my Zoom workouts. Wearing this top was a wake-up call for me as it fitted so snuggly compared to how it fitted in January 2020.  I will post a photograph of myself with Odell back in January 2020 so you can see the difference in the fit.

Finally making a complaint about my GP

In the last couple of weeks, I finally stood up to my GP surgery and made a complaint.  I think part of the reason that I never complained about the service so long was that I had a feeling that they would not care and it would make no difference.   If you are interested in the gist of my complaint you can read the Google review I wrote by clicking the following link  https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sxsrf=ALeKk01VdHEQKrTuu31JsvMkoKBwD_robA%3A1594996975328&source=hp&ei=77gRX8mvEc6NlwTM_oywAQ&q=12+the+shrubberies+george+lane+google+review&oq=12&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQARgAMgQIIxAnMgQIIxAnMgQIIxAnMgsIABCxAxCDARCRAjIICAAQsQMQkQIyBQgAELEDMggIABCxAxCDATICCC4yAggAMgUILhCxA1CcIVibI2DkN2gAcAB4AIABdYgB2gGSAQMwLjKYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6&sclient=psy-ab#lrd=0x47d8a735deef383d:0x2653bcf0bf1b1a7d,1,,,

This is me back on 30 January 2020 feeling happy having survived a tough workout with Odell Lewis. You can see that my arms had more definition, my waist line was slimmer and my stomach flatter.

This is me back on 30 January 2020 feeling happy having survived a tough workout with Odell Lewis. You can see that my arms had more definition, my waistline was slimmer and my stomach flatter.

Recurring decluttering nightmares

Work remains anxious and stressful along with finances but I continue to plan for the future and one of the things I would like to do in the near future is to have my flat renovated.  This week I had a FaceTime meeting with interior designer, Randa Kort and she must have been really impressed with the amount of clutter I had in my flat because she very kindly offered to help me.  Be ruthless, she advised and get rid of anything you have not worn in 2 years.  As I mentioned to Randa, I always have recurring nightmares concerning decluttering.  In the nightmares, I am about a miss a train, bus, exam  – basically, you can complete the blank depending on what I am doing in my life.  Usually, in the nightmares, I am about to be late because I am running late because I cannot easily locate something or the other because I am overwhelmed by my belongings.

 

As part of my weight loss journey, I have disposed of at least 8 overflowing bags of clothing.  I first got rid of the size UK 16.  That was easy as I had only 2 items.  Then I got rid of most of the 14s save for a couple of items from Hobbs which I love for work attire.  Then I cleared out the bulk of size UK size 12.  Then I went into a confusing time towards the end of 2019 because by late November I had dropped to a UK size 4/6.  I put on 2 or 3 lbs over Christmas but managed to get it off by the end of January 2020.  The beginning of this year was pretty stressful in work terms and also coincided with me looking for and trying to settle into a new gym and by the time London was in lockdown I had gained 6 lbs and gone up at least a couple of dress sizes.

 

I have worked out consistently during the lockdown and as a result, my weight is going back down gradually. I am in between sizes.  My UK size 10 clothes are loose but the UK size 8 items are too snug in fit.  To that end, I have decided that I am going to be bold and get rid of anything over UK size 8.  I am always giving friends advice about getting rid of larger items of clothes promptly as they lose weight.  This is because I believe that when we hang on to large-sized clothing, it as though we are planning to sabotage our own weight loss efforts in the future by regaining the weight.

My current weight

So what do I currently weigh?  143 lbs or 10 stone 3 lbs.  I have been in a plateau for most of the time since the London lockdown but I refused to let this throw me off my workouts and I continued to adjust my diet.  I will tell you more about what I am doing with my diet in my next post.

 

Until next time, it’s
#NoToTheYoYo  #YesToAstableWeight
This is an Ankara dress that I have worn a lot over the years. It is a wrap dress so I was able to wear it even when I was bigger even though it is size 10. I bought it from a former friend so it does not spark joy anymore, otherwise I would keep it.

This is an Ankara dress that I have worn a lot over the years in any weather.  In the summer I would wear it without tights and the polo neck.  It is a wrap dress so I was able to wear it even when I was bigger even though it is size 10. It sparks a bit of sadness when I wear it.  This photograph was taken outside my firm’s Leyton office as we prepared to move the business back to the head office and I was waving goodbye to a lovely gentleman that worked in our building.  My waving now has a deeper significance in light of the pandemic and the massive changes to my professional and personal life.  I am grateful for the joy this dress has brought me.  It is also a size 10 so I should follow my own advice and send it to a new home where it will hopefully be loved and cherished as it has been with me.

Julie

Author Julie

Lawyer (co-founding partner/solicitor of a legal aid practice), blogger, feminist, lover of fashion & beauty. I believe that there are two types of people - the living and the dead. Age has nothing to do with it.

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