My first fashion shoot on 14 December 2019 – the featured photograph above was taken in May 2019 and I was surprised that my eyes looked so tired
I had my first fashion shoot on 14 December 2019 and it went well for the most part. December has been a very busy and stressful month for me at work and it just got worse as the month went by. I have been very frustrated this year because I have finally transformed my body but have had no time to document the process on my blog. Anyway, I had booked a shoot earlier but clean forgot about it following a shocking working week. I was determined to get one in for 2019 and persuaded Jo to give me a fresh date. The long and short of it was that by the time the day came around I was feeling exhausted. I had stayed up late the night before to select and organise 3 outfits and accessories and set my alarm to wake me up the next day. This was the first mistake. We don’t live in a perfect world but I think that going to a photoshoot tired after a late night is not a good idea. The second mistake is that I should have given myself time for a facial and perhaps a manicure and pedicure. The third mistake is that models are very strict about getting sufficient sleep and rest before important shoots. I do not consider myself as genetically gifted as most models so discipline around sleep and general prep were more important. To add insult to injury, I am no longer as young as I used to be meaning that stress and tough times show up more on my face.
At my fashion shoot on 14 December 2019. My coat is by Karen Millen and is size 6. The T-shirt is sleeveless and is by Etre Cecile in size large – I think they are supposed to have a tighter fit but I love the looser fit. The leggings are by Spanx in UK size 12 – 14 but they still fit great in spite of my weight loss and my boots which you cannot see in the shot are by Calvin Klein Jeans in UK size 6 or Europen size 39. I love this photograh even though I can see the tiredness in my face. I love the location that Jo chose. I am standing outside Benefit Cosmetics store, the makeup shop and I love the bubble gum pink background.
The link between my weight loss and my accelerating skin ageing
Around the Spring of 2019, I noticed that I was looking particularly puffy-eyed. My eyelids seemed to be permanently hooded and swollen and I noticed that I had more wrinkles around my eyes too. I remember in May, when I went to Ascot, I noticed in some of the photographs that my face had visibly aged and I had a lot of texture on my skin.
When I went to Cape Town in August, I did not like how I looked in most of the photographs and by the time I returned to London I noticed also that in some photographs I could see ageing around my nose and mouth. The pores on my face are more prominent and my nasal labial folds are a lot more pronounced. I feel also as though I have had some collapse around my mouth and chin.
As I have mentioned previously, it has been a tough year in terms of work. I held on to my gym routine to keep myself going, but that has been hard too. I tend to push myself as hard as I can when I work out and in the first part of the year, I was training 6 times a week and sometimes I did not get enough sleep. I would drag myself to workouts especially when they were personal training sessions and in truth, I started drinking coffee in the mornings again because that is the only way that I could get myself through the day.
Each time I have gone shopping for beauty and cosmetic items, I have found myself buying lots of creams and gels for my face and I think looking back that I have been more worried about my appearance than I cared to admit to myself. The photoshoot on 14 December 2019 made me confront the problem head-on. I have been looking at various possible treatments and therapies as part of my regular skincare including Ultherapy, micro-needling and skin peeling. However, I think at this point, I have nothing to lose by seeing a dermatologist and making a good workable plan.
Odell took this photograph of me after a workout on the morning of 12 November 2019. I was surprised at how slim and drawn I looked.
Progress with my weight loss
With Odell now on holiday until January 2020, the plan was that I followed his prescribed workout for the rest of the year. This has not gone to plan completely. I have only managed to do the HIIT style workout and the others that involved me working on my own in the gym have not been successful. I just don’t’ know the names of the exercises or the relevant machines in the gym. I have been working out on average about 3 times a week since Odell has been on holiday and it has not been as easy as I hoped to attend alternative classes.
I was convinced that I had gained weight but when I finally worked up the courage to weigh myself, I was in for a shock because I still weigh 138 lbs. I had not lost any weight but more importantly, I had not gained any either. Whoop! Whoop!
The other thing that I have been worried about is losing too much weight. I think that the sight of my collapsing face and extra wrinkles have worried me a lot especially as I still have two healthy muffin tops. The wonderful thing about journaling this type of process or journey is that I always get to that point where I cannot hide from myself. I am facing the fact that my two muffin tops show no sign of going away bother me along with the effects of my weight loss journey on my face.
Near Carnaby Street, Central London on 14 December 2019: I love this photograph – the pose, my smile, my outfit – which I actually do wear to work. The shoes are Guess in UK size 6 or European size 39, The handbag is Ralph Lauren as well as the cropped trousers in UK size 8, the top is in an extra small Farhi by Nicole Farhi and my earings are treasured costume jewellery that I bought on holiday to India in 2003. The composition and background are perfect but the angle was not great for disguising my two stubborn muffin tops that persist even though I have now lost over 10 inches from my belly. Sigh!
The plan going forward
I think that I am going to have to cycle to work in the New Year travelling about 15 miles back and forth to work each day. I have been worried about it because I will need to insert my gym trips in between that at least 3 times each week to maintain my muscle tone. I also don’t know whether cycling will make me super tired in a negative way and packing for a work cycling is a faff that I don’t really enjoy. As I mentioned above, I will make time to see a good dermatologist or visit a reputable beauty counter for good advice. I am happy with the weight loss I have made but not with my muffin tops so I will work hard on flattening my stomach and forget about the dress size. My dress size is now size 8 and I know it is not a bad thing but I never had any ambitions to be under a UK size 10. I just want a flat stomach. If it means that in the future I will need to buy bigger sizes and take them in, then I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for now folks. Until the next decade – yes, it will be 2020 when I post my next blog – I can hardly believe it!
#NoToTheYoYo #YesToAstableWeight #NoTimeToPauseForMenopause #YesToAstableHealthyWeight
I think that the above photograph was taken sometime in late November or early December by Odell. He was trying to get me to work on my belly as I am always complaining about my muffin tops. I could not do many however and need to work on building up my upper body strength
I posted this caption on Instagram on 10 November 2019 celebrating a few weeks ago only to begin panicking that I had actually gained weight. Thankfully I had not!
Loving the chronicles though….and I think I like this your Odell too!
Thank you so much for stopping by hun! Odell will be so happy to hear your feedback!
Inspiring… Congratulations…you have achieved the body of your dreamsyv
Thank you so much! I am grateful for what I have achieved because I know very well that it is possible to work very hard at one’s weight and see little or no return. My trick has been to keep at it. I am so happy you find my journey inspiring. Do keep me in the loop about your progress.